“No Doula? No Problem — Here’s What You Can Do to Support Yourself Before, During & After Birth”

Not everyone hires a doula — and that’s okay. Whether it’s a budget decision, personal preference, or something else entirely, your birth and postpartum journey can still be empowered, grounded, and supported.

Here’s a simple, practical list of things to do and check before, during, and after birth to help you feel more prepared and cared for — doula or not.

Before Birth: Set the Foundation

1. Create a Birth Map, Not Just a Plan

Think of your birth preferences as a flexible map. Know what’s most important to you (pain relief options, delayed cord clamping, skin-to-skin, etc.) — but also understand what alternatives feel okay if things change. Talk it over with your care provider.

2. Choose a Supportive Birth Team

Whether it’s your partner, a close friend, your sister, or your mom — make sure whoever is with you respects your wishes, can stay calm under pressure, and won’t center themselves in your experience.

3. Get Educated on Physiology & Options

Take a solid childbirth education class that goes beyond just hospital policy. Learn about how birth works and how your body responds to labor. The more you understand, the more confident you’ll feel.

4. Build a Comfort Measures Toolkit

Practice breathing techniques, hip squeezes, counterpressure, affirmations, and visualizations. Write them down. Stick them on the wall. Make them second nature.

5. Prep Your Space (Even in the Hospital)

Pack things that bring you calm — fairy lights, a playlist, cozy socks, snacks, and essential oils. You deserve to feel safe and held wherever you give birth.

During Birth: Protect Your Focus

6. Appoint Someone as Your “Advocate”

Let someone else handle communication so you can stay in your zone. Your partner or support person can ask questions, request time to think, or double-check your preferences.

7. Use the BRAIN Acronym

When a new intervention is suggested, pause and ask:

Benefits?

Risks?

Alternatives?

Intuition?

Nothing — what happens if we wait?

This gives you time and clarity to make aligned decisions.

8. Change Positions Often

Movement helps labor progress and can ease discomfort. Try upright positions, leaning forward, squatting, using a birth ball, or resting in a side-lying pose. Listen to what your body wants.

9. Hydrate and Fuel (As Allowed)

Labour is hard work. Sips of water, coconut water, honey sticks, or dates can keep your energy up. Pack a few labor-friendly snacks just in case.

10. Make Noise (If You Want To)

Moaning, humming, low tones — it’s all natural and helpful. Don’t hold back. Let your breath and sound guide you through each wave.

After Birth: Tend to the Tenderness

11. Line Up Postpartum Support in Advance

Make a plan for meals, visitors, sleep, and help with older children or chores. You don’t need to host anyone — you need to heal.

12. Know the Signs of Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression

Feeling emotional in the first couple weeks is common. But if anxiety, sadness, or overwhelm persist or worsen, reach out. You’re not alone, and there’s no shame in asking for help.

13. Stay Skin-to-Skin When You Can

It helps regulate baby’s temperature, breathing, and bonding — and boosts your oxytocin levels. It’s healing for both of you.

14. Honour Your Story

However your birth unfolded, it matters. Take time to process it. Write it out. Talk it through. Claim it as yours — in all its beauty and complexity.

Final Thoughts

Having a doula is wonderful. But not having one doesn’t mean you’re on your own. With some prep, advocacy, and intention, you can still have a grounded, connected, empowered experience.

Because the truth is: you were always the one with the power — doulas just remind you.